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Old 06-12-2017, 08:34 PM   #1
BS2K
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Behind the ZION curtain.
Posts: 1,191
Default The Victems own Recipie thread...Victem food...

Frozen Pizza

1 French bread Frozen pizza..dig it...pizza rules ass
1 sheet of tin foil
1 roll of twine
1 flat pan thing
1 cat
1 cup of milk
1 Trash Can
1 box of Count Chocula
1 English bulldog
1 piece of tape
1 oven mitt

Dig it, take the pizza out of the freezer (Thats the small door on top of the big door on the fridge.). Then make sure too unwrap the plastic thing that the pizza is packed in...TRUST THE VICTEM ON THIS ONE!

Diddle with the nobs on the stove until you find out which one makes the oven hot then place the pizza on some foil on the flat pan thing, then go and grab the roll of twine.

Take the twine then tie one end to the cats tail. THis can be fucking tricky becuse the cat tends to become an asshole when you try to do this. Best thing to do is throw a pounce on the floor, and when the stupid fucker is all distracted, jump on top of it being careful to avoid the sharp parts of the cat.

Ok, now dig it...at this point the cat is all upset and freaked out so you have to be quick. Also notice that you may smell something burning at this point, but that is not importent becuse the task at hand rules ass and is much more worty of your attention.

Grab the bulldog then tie the other end of the twine around his neck, about one foot away from the end thats tied to the cats tail. Be sure to have plenty of band-aids availible and too wear safety goggles.

Fuck what the hell is burning?

Anyhoo, dig it...take the one piece of tape and plant it firmly on the cats ass. FUCKING ZOOM, MAN! The cat will then try to take off only to be yanked back by the anchoring weight of the bulldog. This of course sets the bull dog off and it begins to chase the cat. The cat then procedes to run as far ahead of the bulldog as the length of twine will allow and trust the Victem when I tell you that this will occupy the mind for a good two hours.

Man, that ruled ass!

At this point the wife comes home and wonders where all the smoke is coming from. That is a great question, becuse the VIctem isnt all that shure where the fuck it is coming from his self! NO SIR!

The wife will then run to the oven and, not so politely THe Victem must add, remind you that you had a pizza cooking in the oven. Now, take your oven mitt...YES SIR you are going to want that oven mitt...and remove the black object from the oven and throw it in the trash. At this point the wife should be good and bitchy, as usual. Man she has a bad fucking attitude, man.

And there is how you make Count Chocula for dinner! YES SIR!

The Victem has all kinds of cool cooking ideas becuse The Victem all rules ass and shit. Also...

Oh shit!!!!!!!!!! Gotta go...forgot about the cat and dog all tied together and draging eachother all around the house...shit...what ever just got broken sounded expensive, made of glass, and belonging to the wife. Fuck, as long as it's not mine, ya dig?

fucking hell, man.
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